Family of Loved Ones in Recovery
If you've been the one driving home, the one calling in sick on someone else's behalf, the one Googling at midnight — the work belongs to you, too. You don't get to fix anyone, but you also don't have to keep doing this alone.
Substance use reshapes the people around it as much as the person using. Partners, parents, and adult children of people with substance use disorders develop their own patterns — vigilance, over-functioning, rage that's been carefully kept underground for years, a particular kind of exhaustion that nobody else in the household quite recognizes. We work with all of it, with or without the person using also being in care.
What this can feel like
- You can tell from a phone call whether they've had something today.
- You've cancelled plans with friends because of a thing that wasn't your thing.
- You've taken on responsibilities — financial, logistical, emotional — that were never supposed to be yours.
- You're angry, and you don't know where to put it, and the people who love you have stopped asking how you are.
- You don't know whether you should leave or stay, and the not-knowing has been going on for years.
- If they've started recovery, you're cautiously optimistic and quietly braced for the next time.
- You haven't had a feeling about your own life in a long time. Theirs is the only one that fits in the room.
How therapy can help
We work with family members in three ways: family therapy with the person in recovery (when both parties consent and it's clinically indicated); couples counseling when the relationship is the unit needing repair; and individual therapy for the family member alone. Many clients also benefit from a family-and-loved-ones group, where peers share what nobody else in their life understands.
Clinically, we draw from Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), an evidence-based approach designed for family members of people with substance use; Internal Family Systems (IFS), which addresses the parts of you that have learned to caretake at the expense of yourself; and family-systems work for multi-generational patterns.
You do not need the person you love to be in care for you to be in care. Your work is your own.
You don't have to figure this out alone
If you've been keeping yourself together for everyone else's sake, this is a place where someone is keeping it for you, for an hour a week.